The thought of coming up just short of winning and taking it all - the glory, the limelight, the feeling of accomplishment and pride - has to be one of the worst feelings that humans endure. When "play to win" is the mentality, coming in as the runner-up just doesn't cut it for anyone competing in anything. You are the number 1 loser. The person/team that came oh-so-close. Your names are the ones that gets forgotten because it's not immortalized on a trophy or plaque. And as you sit/stand there watching the winner/champions celebrate in joy, your mind is at first blank but soon filled with thoughts of what went wrong or what could've been. Your heart (rate) goes from beating a million times a second - due to the adrenaline rush and excitement of being in the moment - down to what feels like a complete stop as it gets struck with feelings of remorse and disappointment (with a bit of shock).I'm not exactly sure if I'm super/overly competitive when I sit down and think about it. I think it is a combination of various personality traits of mine that draws out the competitiveness in me. Of those characteristics, my ego is probably one of the largest contributors. I'll admit it - yes, I like being in the spotlight and showing off something that I feel that I do well. The second quality that contributes to my competitiveness is actually the perfectionist part of my upbringing/nature. If I screw up or fail because I didn't perform up to expectations to what I know I am capable of - that really ticks me off.
I suppose the best and perhaps only way to deal with it all is to be an optimist. But as a general pessimist who sees not only "the glass half empty" but oftentimes also "who failed at filling it up to the top," I personally find that incredibly hard to do sometimes. Nevertheless I've learned tricks and coping methods in my quest to develop my good sportsmanship and as a more positive person overall. While the theory of "we'll get them next time" may sometimes be applicable, often in a championship/final game situation that "next time" is a long LONG ways away. So throw that one out the door. Then there's the optimist's beautiful world of "at least we had fun," and "we got farther than everyone else." I generally try not to default to either of those two cheesy if not fake justifications that tries to cover up the reality of what actually happened (you lost!). But if the other team deserved to and earned their win... and you gave it all you could (and more), then there's nothing that says you can't walk away from the experience with absolutely no regret because you left it all on the table.
Moral of the story: always attempt to give it your best - and if you succeed in doing so but still come up short, simply shrug your shoulders, shake your head and say "oh well," and move on. Trust me, somehow you will walk away feeling okay with finishing 2nd.
