GW's Advice

(I'm glad I managed to sneak in a May entry on the 31st day of this month)

I think it's weird how your opinion, feelings, and emotion towards one person can change so quickly and unexpectedly - and how drastic the Snow Ball Effect is. One might also call it the Domino Effect, but the end result is that it sets into motion a whole lot of sh!t and events that lead to one another.

With that being said, I've experienced and gone through a sh!tload of "character building" or "emotional training" these past months. They have all been a result of females - and I blame them for the emotional roller-coaster ride that I've been on. I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE! My brain is swarming and so full of assumptions, hypotheticals, re-enactments of things that have been said or done, things that I dream or think might happen - and it feels like it's going to burst. My heart on the other hand, feels like it's a punching bag. When I see or hear something from someone (or perhaps because they DIDN'T say something), I feel like my heart skips a beat because someone just kicked me in the stomach while someone else is simultaneously jabbing an ice pick deep into it.

I talked to Greg for just about a full hour on the phone tonight - and throughout the conversation he gave me some great wisdom that rivals the revelations that great philosophers have had in the past (in my opinion).

1. Turn a negative scenario/event and put yourself in their shoes - only then can you make the correct judgement call on what is appropriate to do or say.

I thought I had my mind made up on what I really wanted to say/ask someone as soon as I saw them the next day, because I believed that it would make me feel better somehow - even if the truth/answer was what I feared to hear the most. However, after Greg told me about (let's call this Greg's Wisdom #1) GW#1 and applied it to my current predicament... almost instantaneously I changed my thought process. It was like, "wow... I never thought about it from that person's perspective and I would never want that to happen to me." And so from this day forward, I will try to apply GW#1 during any situation where I get caught off-guard and feel emotionally unsettled.

2. Give them the benefit of the doubt - especially if they are/were your friend.

I tend to make judgements on people fairly early and quickly. And once it's been made, it's pretty darn hard for my perception of them to change. Despite my very pessimistic outlook on life and the dark rain cloud I cast over myself (and try to spread to others), Greg has convinced me of being a better person - or at least trying to. He says he likes to believe people are innocent until proven guilty (I've always thought of the opposite) and after listening to him give his perspective on why it tends to work out for the better if you give them the benefit of the doubt - life's a little bit easier to deal with. I think I'm going to try giving that a shot, despite how hard it may be. This guy used to be my friend, maybe still is, and may not have any intentions whatsoever of hurting my feelings (at least not on purpose).